A Guide to Modern Manhood by Eli Auerbach

Author:Eli Auerbach
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2018-03-01T16:12:31+00:00

Learn how to dance; nothing is more awkward than looking like you’re having a seizure.

When you hear that “Everyone’s doing it,” take my word for it that they’re not.

If the entire history of the universe were compressed into one year, then all of human existence has been around for about 7 minutes. You’ve been around for a mere fraction of a second; so stop being so full of yourself.

Fight only when you have to and do not throw the first punch.

Be confident enough in who you are to overcome the influence of peer pressure.

Spend a few years living in a big city, then move back home.

Cross-country road trips aren’t nearly as exciting as they look in the movies.

Just so you know, no one you see in magazines looks that good in real life; that’s why they invented Photoshop.

People have died fighting for their right to vote; consider that the next time you think yours doesn’t matter.

Most bullies will back down if you stand up to them, but be prepared for the ones that don’t.

Be careful how you treat your classmates; you may need to ask them for a job one day.

Try not to buy anything you can’t afford to pay for with cash, except unicorns. You see a unicorn; you sell a kidney for that!

Find a friend that makes you laugh so hard you tinkle just a little bit.

If you don’t understand something, raise your hand; more than likely, you’re not alone.

It’s easy to be popular when you’re at the top, but only a true friend will be there to pick you up at the bottom.

Remember that your future self is counting on you; don’t let him down.

It takes courage to admit when you’re wrong . . . and to ask out a girl.

Read excessively, but feel free to move on from books that you don’t like.

Go out of your way to work tough jobs when you’re young; it’ll teach you humility.

Your word is the only currency you’ll carry with you throughout your life. Make it worth something.

Leave your acne alone. Like many things in life, the more you try to fix it, the worse it’ll become.

When shaving, go with the grain, not against it; sometimes the opposite is true in life.

Think before you speak; then just to be safe, think once more.

Be conscious of the volume of your voice; project (confidence), but not too loudly (arrogance).

Just be yourself. If you don’t, then who will?

Shake hands firmly, but remember, you’re not arm wrestling.

Rumors are an awful lot of fun . . . until there’s one about you.

Never get a tattoo or piercing that you don’t think would look good on grandpa.

Remember the time you got an A on your test without studying? Me neither.

Yes, you look great with your shirt off, but it would look even better if you stop telling everyone.

Start investing for retirement in high school; when you’re my age, you can buy me a car to say thank you.

Drive like I’m sitting next to you and a cop is following behind.

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